I’m only 21. A graduate from a respectable university for almost two years. But why do I feel like I’m not living up to what I had planned? I feel like a huge disappointment. Where I am now, is not where I saw myself. A lot of people will say “But you’re too young. You’re only 21! You still got a huge time ahead for yourself.” NO. I am not contented with that answer. I know that reaching our dreams aren’t easy. But I feel like I’m going further away from my dream. Is this normal thinking for someone my age or it’s just me being so pessimist?
I wanted to be a flight attendant. But now, I’m not so sure. I’m unsure on what I really want to be or where I wanna be. Wait. I know where I want to be. I want to be anywhere but here. Am I still too young to be thinking about this? To be having this kind of crisis? There are times where I wake up and lie in bed thinking what am I doing with myself. I feel… unproductive. Or am I just being so dramatic?
I guess I should just suck it up. I guess I’ll figure this all out eventually. BUT WHAT IF….What if I don’t? Will I be stuck in this kind of abyss where I just do things because I have to and not because I WANT to? I feel envious of those who had found what they wanted to do and are now doing it. Those kinds of vibes where you feel so amazing when you wake up because you know you’ll be doing something you love. I only feel that when it’s my off. Funny, isn’t it?
I don’t know how to end this. Okay. Enough of this negativity. Haven’t posted for two months and this is what I come back with. I apologize. Bad day.