I have written you hundreds of letters in my head. But I never had the guts to write it down, until now. I don’t know where I am finding the courage to jot this all down but I felt like I had to or else my mind won’t be at peace.
I never thought that I would meet someone who will change my perspective about everything. You made me see things differently than I usually do. I’m a pessimist. But you made me see the beauty and positive in everything. I don’t know how you managed to get inside my head like that. Because you made it all clear that you don’t want to be with me or be anything with me.
I fell in love with you with the kind that I never thought I’ll be able to feel. I was willing to do everything and anything just so you’ll want me. But it never worked. You just see me as the same Jem that you met the first time. The one that you continued to build this friendship with.
I don’t know what I saw in you that made me like that. I was never that girl. But what is with you? You are nothing special. Just like any guy out there. You’re good-looking, you’re good with your job, you are interesting. But so is a lot of guys. But what is it with you that made it so hard to forget and move on? I was willing to give everything just to be with you. You’re the guy that made a large impact on my life. And I never thought that you (or that kind of guy) will come to me this early.
I keep saying to everyone that I’ve moved on. But that is such a lie. Well, okay, not exactly a lie. I’m slowly getting there. I don’t cling to us anymore. Or the idea of us. You rarely cross my mind now. I can go on days without wondering why you never see me like the way I see you. I’m slowly leaving all the thoughts about you. And I am glad.
You will always leave a mark in me. The guy who made me realize that I can really love. The guy who broke my heart like no one else has ever done before. My first legit heartbreak that made every single bone in my body felt like it was breaking into tiny pieces.
I wish nothing but the best for you. I am giving up on you and I will continue to live my life and find my purpose. I do want to thank you, though. Thank you for making me see my real worth. Thank you for hardening my personality. Thank you.
And this is the first and last letter that I’ll ever write to you.